Readers (if any) of this blog will know I carefully follow the US Elections. I dutifully get up in the mornings to watch the results coming in and the debates. Yesterday was the Democratic Debate at the University of Texas. Amid heehawing cowboys and hemhawing professors, Hillary Clinton made her last stand at the Alamo, and if things go according to plan, lost. To resurrect her candidature, she needed to beat Obama in the debate, and beat him good. I think she actually beat him, but only just. Her last line, however, might just swing this election as much as her New Hampshire sob story. It had no substance, she didn't answer the question she was asked, but she touched an emotional cord. And that, in a country made up of, well, morons, was what was required.

The American voter is an interesting study. There are two kinds - the rural Republican and the urban Democrat. The rural voter is more fascinating. He is definitely a moron. He loves America, and the guy who criticises America is a Communist spy who's there to take his religion away. He wil believe whatever the white GOP candidate will tell him. He is also a definite bigot. And that's where another dichotomy steps in. One kind is the racist prick who doesn't mind being called a racist prick. He hates all niggers and Ayrabs and Jews and Eyeranians, and will only vote for the whitest candidate in the fray. The other kind has a conscience. Vaguely, he feels that being perceived as a racist is not good. So he goes out of the way to befriend blacks, Hispanics, Indians, Pakistanis, Polynesians, Martians... anyone who's not white. Of course, the frendship is like that between a person and his favourite dog. But then, only Caucasians are humans, aren't they? This is the kind of voter who will vote for Barack Obama, not because he's any good, but because not voting for him will be racist and derogatory to the African-American community. Of course, illegal immigrants should leave immediately and America should make their homelands a living hell, but they should be welcome in this great nation.

However, all American voters are united in voting for the guy they identify with the most. Of course, they'll say, "We're voting for McCain because he's gonna make sure we win in Eyeraq," but they're actually voting for him because he's a war veteran who was tortured by the Communists in 'Nam. That's probably why all the candidates left in the fray are the ones with a gimmick. Hillary's got her woman, Obama's black, McCain's a war-hero and Huckabee's a lovable former minister, who's anti-abortion. The fact that Hillary's going for universal healthcare, Obama was right on Iraq and McCain has the right immigration plan have nothing to do with it. I hope for the sake of the world, Obama wins, but if he does, don't expect him to do so because he's a great leader, he'll win because he was an inspiring talker who gave the American public short and catchy dialogue that they could understand.

God bless America!