Readers (if any) of this blog will know I carefully follow the US Elections. I dutifully get up in the mornings to watch the results coming in and the debates. Yesterday was the Democratic Debate at the University of Texas. Amid heehawing cowboys and hemhawing professors, Hillary Clinton made her last stand at the Alamo, and if things go according to plan, lost. To resurrect her candidature, she needed to beat Obama in the debate, and beat him good. I think she actually beat him, but only just. Her last line, however, might just swing this election as much as her New Hampshire sob story. It had no substance, she didn't answer the question she was asked, but she touched an emotional cord. And that, in a country made up of, well, morons, was what was required.

The American voter is an interesting study. There are two kinds - the rural Republican and the urban Democrat. The rural voter is more fascinating. He is definitely a moron. He loves America, and the guy who criticises America is a Communist spy who's there to take his religion away. He wil believe whatever the white GOP candidate will tell him. He is also a definite bigot. And that's where another dichotomy steps in. One kind is the racist prick who doesn't mind being called a racist prick. He hates all niggers and Ayrabs and Jews and Eyeranians, and will only vote for the whitest candidate in the fray. The other kind has a conscience. Vaguely, he feels that being perceived as a racist is not good. So he goes out of the way to befriend blacks, Hispanics, Indians, Pakistanis, Polynesians, Martians... anyone who's not white. Of course, the frendship is like that between a person and his favourite dog. But then, only Caucasians are humans, aren't they? This is the kind of voter who will vote for Barack Obama, not because he's any good, but because not voting for him will be racist and derogatory to the African-American community. Of course, illegal immigrants should leave immediately and America should make their homelands a living hell, but they should be welcome in this great nation.

However, all American voters are united in voting for the guy they identify with the most. Of course, they'll say, "We're voting for McCain because he's gonna make sure we win in Eyeraq," but they're actually voting for him because he's a war veteran who was tortured by the Communists in 'Nam. That's probably why all the candidates left in the fray are the ones with a gimmick. Hillary's got her woman, Obama's black, McCain's a war-hero and Huckabee's a lovable former minister, who's anti-abortion. The fact that Hillary's going for universal healthcare, Obama was right on Iraq and McCain has the right immigration plan have nothing to do with it. I hope for the sake of the world, Obama wins, but if he does, don't expect him to do so because he's a great leader, he'll win because he was an inspiring talker who gave the American public short and catchy dialogue that they could understand.

God bless America!

On Dropouts and Cannibals

So it seems that both Giuliani and Edwards are dropping out of the US presidential race. A little tough to digest, as Giuliani looked like he had Super Tuesday wrapped up. His ouster puts another stamp on the 'Bandwagon Effect' and the importance of momentum in politics. Edwards on the other hand, lodst the 'Other America", and will now continue looking for some America that will actually vote for him. I believe he lost the election in Nevada, when, as he put it, he got his butt kicked.
A bit of trivia - did you know that Rudy Giuliani was the Attorney who brought down the Godfathers of the five families of New York?
For all those non-existent readers who were concerned about my fate after the Parent-Teacher Meeting - all zero of you - I survived sans the much-hyped beating. Can't say it wasn't a close thing, but survived nonetheless.
Bones had an episode on cannibalism last night. It got me thinking: judging by our size, human flesh must be pretty tender and juicy (emphasis on must be, no personal experience yet). The cannibal was about to make a case for cannibalism, when he was struck down and arrested. If it was India, there might have been a diktat issued against the arrest fearing repercussions in the cannibal vote bank.
In all seriousness (not that the last para was particularly funny), our politicos seriously need to undergo a crash course in psephology, and realise that you need the majority of people to vote for you to win any election. Maybe then they'll rethink some of their divisive vote-bank politics and work for sustainable development of the entire country.
Well, gotta go.
Ciao!

Parent Teacher Conferences and US Politics

I'm almost 18, on the brink of adulthood. Therefore, it's a bit of a pain to undergo a Parent-Teacher Conference. Today was my last. Surprisingly, I didn't get nostalgic about it at all (can you blame me?). Of course, I am old enough (and wise enough) to let my mum go alone, which I did. As I write this, I am still tense about the outcome, but a phone call gave a wonderful teaser...
Apparently, I've done horribly in math and I am consequently going to, well, get beaten up for it. I have a long overdue library book, without returning which, I won't be allowed to graduate. And, I'm possibly grounded for the rest of my adolescent life.
So adieu, cruel world...

Meanwhile, in political news, Hillary and John McCain have won their respective Florida primaries. While this means nothing for the Dems (no delegates), it might be the coup de grace on Rudy Giuliani in the GOP stakes. My sympathies go with the guy, whose Florida stragedy (a la Jay Leno's Freudian slip) backfired amazingly. It seems both my fave Republicans - Giuliani and Huckabee are out of it. Even more reason to love the Dems.
By the way, I recently did some research into the candidates' compatibility with Indian interests. By making an unscientific and, at times arbitrary rating system, I ranked them in order of pro-Indianism. (Note: I've left out the ones who've dropped out)

1. John Edwards (D) 41.7
2. Barack Obama (D) 39.3
3. Hillary Clinton (D) 34.9
4. Ron Paul (R) 29.4
5. Mike Huckabee (R) 27.33
6. John McCain (R) 23
7. Mitt Romney (R) 22.2
8. Rudy Giuliani (R) 21.7

As you can see, the ratings have been based on their stands on various issues, and not my opinion of them (Giuliani is last). The issues taken were India, War on Terror, Pakistan, Energy, Trade, China, Climate Change, Immigration, Russia and Israel.

Ever Yours in Eternal Pain

Ciao!